Friends with Benefits: Is This Relationship Right For You
Posted On May 5, 2020
A friends with benefits relationship is great for when you just want sexBy Shoshana Jackson
Are you emotionally prepared for a friends with benefits relationship
Have you ever just wanted sex?
No-strings attached. No dates. No commitments. No relationship stress.
While many single women are looking for the love of their lives, there are times when people really don’t want a romantic relationship. Sometimes a little no strings attached sex is all you need.
Having a friends with benefits relationship may not work for some, but there are some reasons why it may work for you.
Resons why it may work for you
- Neither of you are looking for a romantic relationship?
Some women enter a friends with benefits relationship hoping to find love with someone they may feel close to. While this makes a great premise for a romantic comedy, it doesn’t often happen in real life. In fact when you look for love with a “friend” in a no strings attached relationship you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.
Sex will not make a man love you, even good sex, not even great sex. It’ll just make him want more sex, but not love. That’s why both of you need to honestly, not want any type of romantic relationship with each other in order for “friends with benefits to work.
- Are both of you comfortable with no strings attached sex?
Some people are not completely comfortable with their sexuality. Be honest with yourself, if you do not think you can separate the act of sex from the feelings of love, this is not for you. You need to know that you won’t fall in love with him just because you’re having a sex.
Think about how both of you have handled sexual relationships in the past. This is the best indication of how well a “friends with benefit” will work for you. If you’ve never been able to walk away from a casual sexual encounter without feeling used, then this is not for you.
- Are you willing to set rules about what is allowed and talk openly about sex?
You need to establish rules that make it clear that you are not dating. So, this means setting some boundaries. Rules vary from couple to couple but some common rules include no kissing, no cuddling after sex, no sleeping over, no public affection and no gifts.
It’s up to both of you to come up with rules for your no strings attached relationship. These rules will keep you safe emotionally. Remember the rules are there to protect you. Since this is not a romantic relationship, it’s best to not do things that are romantic. You need to be willing to walk away if he violates the rules.
- Are you willing to lose this friendship if things go wrong
In other words don’t have a friends with benefits relationship with your best friend. There’s always a possibility that the arrangement won’t work out. If you were close to each other before, that level of comfort you felt will be gone. You need to be willing to walk away from the relationship if things don’t work out.
That’s why you need to decide if the sex is worth losing the friendship. If you have shared friends how will you handle being around them if this doesn’t work out. That’s why it’s important to take the time to find the right person.
- Are willing to walk away if it doesn’t work or if one of you is ready to move on
A friends with benefits relationship is not a permanent situation for either of you. So, you have to be able to let go if he moves on and you have to be willing to move on if it doesn’t work or when you want something else. The longer this relationship lasts the harder it will become to walk away. This can feel like a break up and you’ll have to be able to deal with an emotions that arise from it. It’s easier if you weren’t close friends or if you rarely saw each other when you were friends with benefits. However, this can still be difficult for some people. Will you be able to handle seeing your “friend” in a romantic relationship with someone else.
As you can see having a friends with benefits relationship isn’t for everyone. You have to be a very strong woman who is comfortable with herself and her sexuality. For a no strings attached relationship, you need to be a woman who can have sex without getting attached. If you’re not that woman, you’ll only wind up getting hurt and feeling used, so take time to consider this before you start looking for your new “friend.”